Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
