But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
