Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
