Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I need moral support for this bender
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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