Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
