Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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