I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
These tits shall not be calmed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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