my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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