Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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