On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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