burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
