I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Betty ford says i'm here all night
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
