tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
