She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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