just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
