His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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