Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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