just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
