Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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