Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
