DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
