I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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