put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
