my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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