I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
