whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
