HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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