Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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