sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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