I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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