Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
