You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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