I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm passing your future prison.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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