i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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