dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
