Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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