Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize