i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
