great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
