Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
