3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
