dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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