What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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