no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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