the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sext me about skeletons
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
