Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i think my cat just said my name.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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