Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
