The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
