After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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