and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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