are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
