so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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