At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
