After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
