I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize