Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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