can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
