Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
