This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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