Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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