did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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