I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
