I'm drive I can fine osifer
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
