Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
