Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
