Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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