I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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