Jerry, you need to find god
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
