dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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