it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
