Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize