Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
