Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
