Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
