don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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